A Kipah (AKA: Yarmalkah)!!!

Posted on October 15, 2009. Filed under: Clean Jewish Jokes, Clean Jokes, Jewish Jokes, Kipah, Kippa, Kippah, Uncategorized, Yare Malka, Yarmalka, Yarmalkah, Yarmulke, Yarmulkes | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

BS”D

A Kipah (AKA: A Yarmalka)!!!

Frum Guy-1

boy-with-kippah

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On a Northwest Airlines flight from Atlanta , GA , a well attired middle-aged woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa (“yarmulke” in Yiddish which is short from “Yare Malka which that means: “Awe for the King” – The G-d A-l-mighty who is The King of the World”).

She called the attendant over to complain about her seating.
“What seems to be the problem, Madame?” asked the attendant.

“You’ve sat me next to a Jew!! I can’t possibly sit next to this strange man. Please find me another seat!”

“Madame, I will see what I can do to accommodate,” the attendant replied, “but the flight is virtually FULL today and I don’t know IF there is another seat available.”

The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not to mention the surrounding passengers).

A few minutes later, the attendant returned and said: “Madame, the economy and club sections are FULL, HOWEVER, we do have 1 seat in First Class.”

Before the lady had a chance to respond, the attendant continued: “It is only on exceptions that we make this kind of upgrade, and I had to ask permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that no-one should be FORCED to sit next to an UN-PLEASANT person…”

The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and said:

“So if you’d like to get your things, SIR, I have a comfortable seat for you in First Class…”

At this point, the surrounding passengers stood up and gave a standing ovation while the Jewish man walked up to the front of the plane.

The lady then, said indignantly: “The Captain  MUST have made a mistake!!!”


To which the attendant replied: “No Ma’am! ‘Captain Cohen‘, NEVER makes a MISTAKE!”

PS:

Also, please feel FREE to read our explanations on Yarmalka / Kipa which is as follows:

https://fyisavesu.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/meaning-reasoning-behind-yarmulka-aka-kipah/

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*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach, by doing ONE more Mitzvah. ***

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

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“How NOT to Date a Persian Guy” PART 1 & 2

Posted on November 13, 2008. Filed under: Clean humor, Clean Joke, Clean Jokes, Dating horror, Dating Nightmare, Ethnic Humor, How NOT to Date a Persian Guy, Humor, Persian Dating, Persian Dating horror, Persian Dating Nightmare, Persian Humor, Persian Jokes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

BS”D


Dude!


Oh, Man!!!


It’s so TRUE!!!


“How NOT to Date a Persian Guy” PART 1 & 2


This is a short film about a nice Persian guy who takes a WACKO Crazy Persian girl on a date.


The lesson is for Persian girls to learn “How NOT to Date a Persian Guy”.


PART 1 of the adventure is at:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfWwOw1xXNU


Part 2 of this masterpiece is at:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzVMNYQCuOA


*** Warning (AKA disclaimer):

Firstly, Just, the beginning is a little PG-13 to R-rated, but the rest may be PG, so, be alarmed in advance, to keep the kids out of the room.

Secondly, NOT all Persian girls are like this and it is NOT indicative of how Persian young-ladies behave.

So, in advance, we apologize to anyone and everyone, this may offend!



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*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***


By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.


*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

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What might happen IF we LOSE the War in Iraq????

Posted on November 2, 2008. Filed under: Arabs/Moslems, Clean humor, Clean Joke, Clean Jokes, cute, Funny, Humor, Islam, Jokes, Moslems, Poilitical Humor, Political, Political Jokes, We CRAVE Change, We NEED Change, What IF we lose Iraq, What IF we lose War in Iraq | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

BS”D

This is what someone e-mailed me about What might happen IF we LOSE the War in Iraq????



MY G-d!
What might happen IF we LOSE the War in Iraq????

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*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***


By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.


*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***


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I’ve been wondering how and when Halloween turned into the idol that it is nowadays!!!!

Posted on October 30, 2008. Filed under: Attorneys, Clean humor, Clean Joke, Clean Jokes, cute, Dude, Funny, Halloween, Holidays, Idols, Interesting, Lawsuits, Make Money, sweet, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

BS”D

I’ve been wondering how and when Halloween turned into the idol that it is nowadays!!!!

Do any of you know?!?!

Well, I tried to search for it Online.

I went to Wikipedia address below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween

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So, Now, my perspective on all of the above stuff:

You know due to reasons like the fact that there are attorneys in this world & they like to start lawsuits for copyright infringements, we had to shorten the parts we copied & pasted to this Blog!

According to what I could figure-out from pages & pages of many different peoples’ contributions to that article, it all started by some churches around the world who seemingly wanted to keep people busy and scared of dead people, so they’d go to church more often!!!!!!

Did you know that according to Wikipedia: “According to B.I.G. research conducted a survey for the National Retail Federation in the United States and found that 53.3% of consumers planned to buy a costume for Halloween 2005, spending $38.11 on average (up 10 dollars from the year before). They were also expected to spend $4.96 billion in 2006, up significantly from just $3.3 billion the previous year”?

So, whose fault is it, anyways?!?!?!

Who exactly made it the idol with the worldwide following that it is nowadays??!!?

Who knows!

BUT, all I know is that the farmers who grow the pumpkins, the wholesalers, the distributors, truck-drivers who bring these useless pumpkins to our cities and the supermarkets, the guys with EMPTY lots who get to fill their lots, a couple of times a year for the 2 parts of the year on Halloween and for the useless green trees in about a month to month & half from now, to the so-on & so-on & so-on who get to make money off of us!

Let’s NOT forget about the costume related people, to the party-makers, alcoholic beverage makers, bars, restaurants, party-planners, …..and so-on!

Dude!

Does that justify that we are feeding an idol?!?!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT, it is a great business, though for all of them!

Also, some of those attorneys like to start lawsuits for those who mock their clients like when Oprah just went-off on those meat-producers of America or some group like that!

(NOT that we want Oprah’s attorneys to contact us, either!)

Now that I think of it, perhaps, I should come-up with my own idol that makes Zillions & Zillions of Dollars or ECU’s!


So, with all the people involved with all of the above and many other industries we forgot to mention who MUST have their own attorneys, just waiting for someone to offend their clients, so that they could just etc…..

Those attorneys, MUST have their own attorneys waiting to start class-action lawsuits on-behalf of their clients….

Which leads me to another point, now that I landed so far from where I originally took-off from!

So, Who made lawsuits their own idols we so faithfully worhip??!!??

Well, that’s its own topic of discussion for another time, BUT, I forgot to do all the things I had to do, as I have run out of time!

Until next time!


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*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***



By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.



*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***


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Happy Jewish New Year of 5769 – K’siva Vechasima Tova

Posted on September 28, 2008. Filed under: 2008 Candidates, 5769, Animated fun, Biden, candidates, Clean humor, Clean Joke, Clean Jokes, cute, Dude, Election, Election 2008, Fun, Funny, G'zunt, Happiness, happy 5769, happy New Year, Hatzlacha, Humor, Interesting, Jewish New Year, Jewish traditions, John, John McCain, Jokes, K'siva, K'tiva, McCain, Nachas, New year, New Year 5769, Obama, Palin, Parnasa, Parnassa, Peace, Rosh, Rosh Hashana, Rosh Hashanah, Shana, Shana Tova, sweet, Tova, True, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

BS”D

I’d like to wish you all, “a Happy Jewish New Year of 5769 – K’siva Vechasima Tova Leshana Tova Umesuka”

Listen & Watch!

I thought I was a man of many words, BUT i was going-over some of the messages sent to me by my other friends and/or family members, i thought to myself: “Why plagiarize when I can send some funny YouTube videos your way that seem to be NOT only Kosher but also, a little cute!”

Rosh Hashana Rap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjlnTh26lyk&feature=related

All the candidates get-together to wish you a happy Rosh-Hashana:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhSKW9n13s&feature=related

Children singing for Rosh-Hashana:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUezP9Eu4m0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1QK2c3c0PQ

ok, OK, Ok! I know!!!!

Oddly!

You did NOT (?!?!?) like them!

So, I’ll just say (while plagiarizing from ONLY some of the clichés other people sent me):

“May you & your loved ones be inscribed and sealed – K’siva Vechasima Tova – in the book of life, Leshana Tova Umesuka (for a Good, Happy & Sweet Year)”

AND: “No matter what we did or said to each-other, it’s time to forgive & forget, even-if some of us are hardcore Obama freaks who can NOT see the truth”

AND: “Brachos of HaGaFeN (Hatzlacha – Success, G’zunt – Health, Parnassa –Abundant livelihood and Nachas – Joy to enjoy it all) in new upcoming year!!!!”

And last, but NOT the least: “I wish you, all the best from the bottom of my heart!”

Because, I want to say of all of the above, BUT, I think, other people just say it more eloquently!

In case you need to find a Synagogue near to attend the Rosh-Hashana services, please go to the following website:


http://www.chabad.org/holidays/jewishnewyear/calendar_events.htm

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*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***


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Someone told me: “I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy ain’t gonna make it!!!!”

Posted on July 28, 2008. Filed under: Interesting, Jokes, Political | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Place: EMERGENCY ROOM
ALABAMA MEDICAL CENTER

Date: The 60’s!!

One guy said to me: “I could be wrong, but judging by his hat, this guy ain’t gonna make it!!!!”

BUT, if you believe in G-o-d and you see NO COLORS, a patient is just a patient, NO Matter IF he is even a piece garbage like that! in the middle of this picture

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*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***

By the way, You, too, can help hasten the coming of Moshiach by doing ONE more Mitzvah.

*** We WANT Moshiach, Now!!! ***
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